no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
