is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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