hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
