the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Randomize
