didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
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I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
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Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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