Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
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what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
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i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Send help, water and tortillas.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
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