so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
