You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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