Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
