I can tuck mytits in my pants
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
false alarm. still invincible.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Randomize
