my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
