true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
19 Of The Most Epic “I Quit’ Stories Ever
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?