its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.