You're completely useless in the revolution.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
