Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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