that's an acceptable place to lick
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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