he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
