Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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