In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
