that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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