god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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