Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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