By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
