You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
