They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
