if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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