i wish there were pregnant emoticons
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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