Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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