when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Randomize