he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
