my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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