In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
