So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
