All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
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my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
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This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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