As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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