Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
