Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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