dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize