Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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