He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
