the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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