He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Too much gin, very little bucket
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
