walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Randomize
