I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
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