He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
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