So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
