I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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