Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
