this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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