His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
