So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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