I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize