Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Randomize
