Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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