can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
